


The Big Bad

by NancyBrown



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Fairy Tales & Related Fandoms
Genre: Fractured Fairy Tale, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-04 01:31:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21189329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NancyBrown/pseuds/NancyBrown
Summary: The Wolf was having a very bad day.





	The Big Bad

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Irusu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irusu/gifts).

The Wolf was having a very bad day. First, first! There'd been this girl all got up in a bright red cloak walking through his woods like a flippin' fire wagon. The art of camouflage knew all about speckled little fawns and striped badgers hiding in the underbrush, and having to read the signs like one of them magic eye woodcuts the wizards were all about in the village. Little girl tromping through the woods in bright colours? Easy pickings, until she'd pulled an axe out of her little basket and chased him to the river with a war cry.

Sometimes little girls turned out to be adult dwarves. Lesson learned.

He'd learned loads of lessons since his transformation. In the bad old days, you'd get some witch with Ideas walking through the woods and trying to make Stories happen. Bad business. Good wolves got turned into bad copies of humans, and who wanted that? The Wolf intended to write his own story, thank you. One bite from a cooperative werewolf, and his whole life had changed. No more would he be known as Herbert the fourth son of the greengrocer, who stacked cabbages for a living. Now he was a mighty wolf, treading the paths of the forest, etching fear into the hearts of all who dared tread into his domain. It was an all right life, even if he did have to slink home at night and swipe cabbages for his supper, knowing his dad and brothers knew it was him sneaking them. The Wolf hadn't quite figured out the mighty hunter bit yet.

But he persevered. A bad day could end well. He made his way to the far end of the forest, where it butted up against the goblins' territory. The Wolf wasn't ready to eat goblin, but he was up for poking around their area, maybe see if he could filch something tasty.

As he padded around, he noticed a human kid wandering away from the goblin settlement. All right. Wolves had this. He could have had the little girl for his luncheon if she had not, again, been a foul-tempered dwarf. The boy didn't have a long beard, which should have been his clue this morning, and he walked facing down, inspecting the ground, oblivious to the Wolf's approach.

The Wolf crept closer, freezing as he felt the sharp tip of a crossbow bolt suddenly poking at the back of his neck.

A casual, drawling voice said, 'It's good for you that I can recognize a werewolf at a distance. It's bad for you that this is not a point in your favour.'

The Wolf whined, not daring to move as the boy's head looked up and glanced at the figure standing behind the Wolf. He came closer, utterly unafraid, peering intently at the Wolf's face. 'Can he talk?'

The crossbow poked the Wolf again, indicating this was a life choice. The Wolf managed to put together teeth and a tongue not designed for speech, and said, 'Hallooow lertle boy.' Then he panted and whined in what he hoped was a reasonable appeal for his life.

'Change back,' the voice holding the crossbow said. The Wolf managed to shake his head without getting closer to the point. Transformation back wasn't one of his skills.

'Cahrn't,' he said through his sharp teeth.

'Then we have a problem.' The Wolf saw the figure's shadow on the ground shift, as if it was turning its head to look at the child for a long time before coming to a decision. 'Answer the questions we have for you, swear never to return to this settlement, and I'll let you go unharmed. Do you believe me?'

Seeing little other choice, the Wolf said, 'Yers.'

'Good.'

Before he could question the Wolf, the boy came closer. With a serious face, he came up against the Wolf's muzzle and said, 'Tell me everything you can about your poo.'


End file.
